My Lie (April 10, 2007)

My only lie is the silence I hide behind.

I have some things to say to you...

YOU CAN DIG THE DAGGERS INTO MY BACK-

BUT BEWARE-

I DIG THEM OUT MYSELF.

I remember every word you say

And they kill me every time I replay them in my mind.

I know no one cares, but I hope you

Remember that when I finally leave.

I gave up a long time ago-

But you still believed in the fight

So I show you what you want to see.

I'll pop diet pills until they kill me-

I do truly want to look like a Holocaust survivor.

If you do love me-I'd never believe it.

I can't accept it from you

When no one else has been able to care.

I can only blame myself for the hardships in my life-

But I can't forgive myself.

I wish I had the strength to kill myself-

Alas, I'm scared to death to die-

Even though I can't stand to be alive.

I have NO plans for my life.

I say things that sound nice

So you will believe in me-

Cuz I can't.

I feign confidence so people will think

That I am immune to their insults-

But I take each one to heart.

I have NEVER thought about planning a wedding,

But I know EXACTLY how my funeral should go.

I have never been in a fist fight-

But I want to beat the shit out of someone

Just to feel their bones crush

Under the sheer power of my rage.

I feel the need to demolish a room full of glass and mirrors.

OK, that is all I feel like typing...and now you know all the secrets from 2007 stand point...What are some things you hide because you feel you will be judged? Let's get the conversation rolling...